An ER doctor came up to me while I wheezed and choked in the hallway, awaiting an empty bed. The guy looked like a Walking Dead extra, dehydrated, and possibly wasn’t human at all… ever. I realized that this guy was up with me at 1 am checking my vitals, and he does this every single night to at least 100 people. God knows what time this man goes to bed. He was very kind, seemed to give a crap about my lungs and ordered fluids, x-rays, a breathing treatment, and to make sure I stay until I’m feeling better. The nurses didn’t talk much, but they’d change my fluid bags when the machines would beep. The hot blankets.. yes…almost forgot how wonderful the hot blankets are. Steve and I were there til about 5 am, where I felt warm and fuzzy inside, and almost like I was ready to return to normal life. The next day, I felt just as bad as I did before the ER. This was my 2nd week of having viral pneumonia, and I still have another week to go.
Eating is difficult. I can taste just fine, but I cannot eat more than maybe 4 to 5 bites. I ordered a gluten-free chicken pizza and I was SO excited about scarfing it, but it took me three days to eat a small pizza. That is absolutely insane. I can usually easily eat a large veggie pizza all by myself. I am famous for stacking away giant burritos, whole pizzas and family-size pasta dishes that are meant to serve a family of five. All-you-can-eat sushi doesn’t have a chance. I’ll eat it all and lick the tempura crumbs off the dish. Not exactly exaggerating, but I no longer eat this way, and haven’t for several months now (maybe an occasional sushi splurge). I’ve always been the “eat a raw diet” type of person in my head. Whenever I eat anything processed, I get a guilt feeling and give myself a “failed” crown for the day. I believe deeply that processed food is the cause for most of my dreaded diseases, or if not the cause, it is something that irritates it. Flour, wheat, hot dogs… it’s all the same to me. In my wildest dreams, I’m living off the land, eating spaghetti squash and kale chips while wearing an off-the-shoulder white gauze dress and hemp sandals….maybe a little brown mascara and Burt’s Bees lip balm. But who am I kidding.. I love food too much. (Or do I?)
I have been living with PCOS, Hashimoto’s, Adrenal Fatigue, and Diabetes type 2. If you’re not sure what all of these are, just think of it as I can’t lose weight, menstruate, eat any sugar or carbs. Oh, but the strictness doesn’t stop there. I’ve read and heard from several doctors that if you have an autoimmune disease, you need to steer clear of foods that will cause inflammation. Foods with gluten cause inflammation. You also need to avoid dairy, soy and vegetables like broccoli since it may cause goiters. Ugh. So hard, people! While I’m not at all perfect, I have learned a lot about my diet since being sick. Here are 10 things I learned, and sorry, they’re not all about diet.
1. I don’t have to eat everything on my plate. I’ll still live. Eating two small slices of that gluten-free pizza didn’t kill me. I didn’t need chicken wings on the side or garlic bread. It was fine and I drank a lot of water.
2. Juicing is god. If I don’t eat a lot for lunch or dinner, I make a BIG smoothie to make up for the nutrients I’m missing out on. I use a juicer and a blender. I juice a whole cucumber, beets, one apple, a carrot, and then I throw frozen strawberries and an avocado in the blender and mix everything together. Throw some flax seeds in it and I’m good. This is all I need to be happy in the world!
3. I am no good at Family Feud. Let me tell you – I watched the Game Show Network for probably three days straight. I suck at The Family Feud! However, I am now a fan of Baggage, the game show hosted by Jerry Springer. I think it’s fake though. Why would you tell the world that you have a bondage sex room at home.. ain’t your granny watching the show? You could never be president.
4. I can drink water, in fact, SLAM water when I’m just doing nothing. I think I drank two gallons of water per day. Going pee was the only thing that got me out of bed. I learned to love water.
5. I don’t need makeup. Shock. Gasp. I thought I’d never say it. You get used to seeing your face without makeup and you start going out in public and not giving a shoot. In fact, I even took some makeup free selfies and I didn’t cringe too much. My skin is nice, too. Sigh….I’ll be back to being a clown in no time, but just sayin’.
6. I don’t ever want to leave my dog. Three weeks, spending every waking hour with Petey has been such a blessing. He’s really the light of my life and shows me how to have fun and be silly (at 6:30 am.. no bueno!). When I go back to work I’m going to have a serious case of pooch-partum depression.
7. Losing 11 lbs feels like I won the lottery. Yup. I lost 11 lbs in two weeks and the weight is just melting off. Maybe I’m losing muscle, maybe all the gallons of water are flushing out my system, either way, I feel like a bad ass when I go to the drugstore to pick up my prescriptions. I’m like the svelte secret model that goes to pick up drugs every other day from the Walgreens pharmacy. I think someone may have taken my photo thinking I was famous.
8. Who needs clothes? I’ve worn the same outfit several times and nobody cared or noticed.
9. As-seen-on-TV is evil. There are three items that I’m wanting: The Dump Cakes book, Glow Candles, and Jeaneez leggings. I ordered one of these. Guess which? I’ll post on a later blog!
10. Work makes me sick. I seriously think that I caught this illness from someone at work. Where else? Since being away from work, my stress levels and blood pressure has normalized. I’m pretty sure my blood sugar is amazing (I haven’t checked). I also think they inject fat into the cafeteria vegetables because I did not lose weight on my brussel sprouts and soup diet.. nothing. Zero lbs lost.
So there you have it! How many of you think that work makes you sick? I’m sure most will agree!